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Leading with Care

Leading with Care Facilitator Guide

Six live virtual sessions that extend the Leading with Care course through discussion, scenario practice, reflection, and application.

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Live Session 5 · 90 minutes · Virtual

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Inquiry, Curiosity, and Navigating Lived Truth + Applying the Care-Centered Lens

What do I know, what still needs understanding, and which tool will help me respond well?

Session Overview

Module(s) covered

  • Inquiry, Curiosity, and Navigating Lived Truth (Lesson 7)
  • Applying the Care-Centered Lens to Practice (Lesson 8)

Toolkit resources used

  • Lived Truth and Inquiry Framework: Hear → Separate → Explore → Move. Use it when accounts differ, something important remains uncertain, a statement mixes observation and interpretation, or a next step is needed without over-confirming what is unknown.
  • Care-Centered Practice Review Lens: Practice → Purpose → What I Noticed → Tools I Need → What I Still Need to Understand → What I Will Change → What Will Stay → Impact Check. An organizer for the tools learners already have, not another checklist to complete top to bottom.

Session purpose

This session is the integration point of the course: less content review, more conversation practice and whole-situation judgment. Learners practice responding when people experience the same situation differently and then choose the most useful tools for a complex situation. Hear → Separate → Explore → Move.

Facilitator watch-for

This session requires comfort with ambiguity. Avoid turning every scenario into “What is the correct answer?” Ask instead: What can we support from the information we have? What remains uncertain? What is the next responsible step?

Learning objectives

By the end of this session, participants will be able to:

  • 1.Separate observable or verifiable information from interpretation and uncertainty.
  • 2.Recognize lived experience as meaningful information without treating every interpretation as established fact.
  • 3.Use reflective listening before explaining, correcting, or deciding.
  • 4.Ask open-ended questions that genuinely invite more information.
  • 5.Validate impact without over-confirming motive or intent.
  • 6.Use Hear → Separate → Explore → Move in a difficult conversation.
  • 7.Select appropriate resources from the Care-Centered Practice Toolkit for a complex scenario.
  • 8.Develop a focused response or improvement without trying to solve everything at once.

Key course concepts

Experience and interpretation are not the same thing

A person can accurately describe their experience while still being uncertain about another person’s intent or motive.

Validation is not agreement

A leader can acknowledge impact without confirming an unverified explanation.

Intent and impact answer different questions

Neither automatically cancels the other.

Curiosity should lead somewhere

Clarification, support, boundary, repair, information, decision, follow-up, or formal process.

You do not need every tool every time

Tool selection is part of care-centered judgment.

Before the Session

Learner pre-work

  • Complete Inquiry, Curiosity, and Navigating Lived Truth (Lesson 7), including Build an Inquiry Response, the Lived Truth and Inquiry Framework, and Pause & Check: When Their Version Is Different From Mine.
  • Complete Applying the Care-Centered Lens to Practice (Lesson 8), including the two capstone scenarios, the Care-Centered Practice Review Lens, and the 30-Day Practice Commitment.
  • Have the Lived Truth and Inquiry Framework and Care-Centered Practice Review Lens available in the Digital Binder.

What learners were asked to bring

  • Their Lived Truth and Inquiry Framework example: a de-identified conversation where accounts differ or something important remains uncertain (Lesson 7 ‘Bring to Next Class’).
  • Optional: a completed capstone review or their draft 30-Day Practice Commitment.
  • Private reflections do not need to be shared.

Facilitator preparation

  • Prepare the What Kind of Information Is This? warm-up.
  • Prepare the Missed Check-In inquiry scenario.
  • Set triad breakout rooms for listening practice.
  • Prepare the Validate or Over-Confirm? statements.
  • Prepare the Community Expo capstone scenario.
  • Have the Care-Centered Practice Toolkit summary available (Quick Reference in this guide, or Lesson 8 → Lesson Review in the binder).
  • Confirm Digital Binder access.

Materials / technology

Breakout room setup (virtual)

  • The Missed Check-In: groups of 3–4, 12 minutes.
  • Listening Triads: Speaker / Responder / Observer, two rounds.
  • Capstone: The Community Expo: groups of 3–4, 12 minutes.
  • Paste instructions into chat before opening rooms and broadcast a 2-minute warning.

90-Minute Run of Show

TimeActivityPurposeMethodFacilitator notes
0–1010 minWarm-Up: What Kind of Information Is This? ↓Reconnect with fact, interpretation, experience, and need.Four statements; learners label each in chat or a poll.Reactivate distinctions from the Inquiry module without reviewing definitions.
10–2818 minScenario: The Missed Check-In ↓Apply Hear → Separate → Explore → Move.Small groups (3–4) work the scenario; whole-group debrief.12 minutes in rooms, 6 minutes debrief.
28–4315 minListening Triads ↓Rehearse reflective listening and inquiry language.Triads (Speaker / Responder / Observer) using the de-identified situation a learner brought, a facilitator scenario, or a fictional situation.No personal disclosure is required.
43–5310 minValidate or Over-Confirm? ↓Practice precise validation.Four responses; learners decide whether each validates, over-confirms, dismisses, or marks uncertainty.
53–563 minBreakModel pacing and predictability.Short break with a visible timer.Say when you’ll restart and what comes next.
56–7216 minCapstone Scenario: The Community Expo ↓Select and combine course tools.Small groups (3–4) choose no more than three tools to start with and plan before the Expo.12 minutes in rooms; debrief follows in the next segment.
72–8210 minDebrief: Choose Your Tools ↓Compare different defensible approaches.Whole-group debrief of the Expo scenario.Complex situations can involve several concerns at once; good facilitation means recognizing which question needs attention first.
82–875 minDigital Binder: Strengthen the Plan ↓Capture revisions and next action.Learners privately complete or revise their Care-Centered Practice Review Lens using the Expo, an eLearning capstone scenario, or a practice from their setting.Learners do not need to show their binder to the facilitator.
87–903 minClose + Prepare for Session 6Consolidate and set up the final session.Brief private reflection; preview Session 6.The full “What Are You Taking With You?” sharing happens in Session 6, where the course places it (Lesson 8 ‘Bring to Next Class’). Remind learners to download a binder backup.

Facilitation Guide

A guide for each major activity. Suggested language is a starting point—adapt it to your voice and your group.

0–10 min

Warm-Up: What Kind of Information Is This?

ChatPollMain room

Purpose

Reactivate distinctions from the Inquiry module without reviewing definitions.

Set-up

  • Prepare the four statements on a slide or as polls.

Facilitator language

“Our response should match what we are actually hearing. We do not need to argue with someone’s experience, but we also do not need to confirm what we do not know.”

Instructions

  • 1.Display each statement.
  • 2.Learners label it: fact, interpretation, experience/feeling, or need.
  • 3.Debrief.

📋 Facilitator reference — answers, don’t paste to learners

Facilitator reference: “I sent the form on Monday.” → Potentially verifiable fact “They never take my requests seriously.” → Interpretation or conclusion “When no one answered, I felt embarrassed asking again.” → Experience and feeling “I want to know who I should contact next time.” → Need or next step

Debrief questions

  • Why does it matter that we can hear these as different kinds of information?

👂 Listen for

  • Responses matched to the kind of information

👀 Watch for

  • Treating the feeling as something to verify

📓 Digital Binder connection

  • Lesson 7 → Lesson Review: Hold Several Kinds of Information at Once
10–28 min

Scenario: The Missed Check-In

BreakoutMain room

Purpose

Apply the Lived Truth and Inquiry Framework to an ambiguous interpersonal situation.

Set-up

  • Groups of 3–4.
  • Ask learners to open their Lived Truth and Inquiry Framework.
  • Paste the scenario and steps into chat.

Facilitator language

“Validate what you know. Stay honest about what you do not.”

Instructions

  • 1.Read the scenario.
  • 2.Work through Hear, Separate, Explore, and Move.
  • 3.Draft one reflective statement and one open question.

💬 Paste into chat / broadcast to rooms

Scenario: A peer leadership program asks participants to meet briefly with their assigned partner before each weekly session. After one session, Maya says: “Chris didn’t meet with me again this week. They walked right past me before the session started. I don’t think they want to be partnered with me.” You know Maya and Chris were assigned as partners, the check-in did not happen this week, and you saw Chris arrive shortly before the session. You do not know whether Chris saw Maya, why the check-in did not happen, whether this has happened before, or how Chris feels about the partnership. HEAR: What is Maya communicating? What seems to have had the greatest impact? SEPARATE: What do you know? What is Maya’s interpretation? What remains uncertain? EXPLORE: What could you reflect back? What is one useful open-ended question? MOVE: What is a reasonable next step based on what you currently know?

Debrief questions

  • What could you validate?
  • What should you avoid confirming?
  • What question would actually teach you something new?

👂 Listen for

  • Validating the impact without confirming Chris’s motive
  • Uncertainty kept visible
  • A concrete, proportionate next step

👀 Watch for

  • Confirming “Chris doesn’t want to be your partner”
  • Dismissing Maya’s concern

📓 Digital Binder connection

  • Lesson 7 → Build Your Toolkit: Lived Truth and Inquiry Framework
28–43 min

Listening Triads

TriadsBreakoutMain room

Purpose

Practice the language of inquiry, not merely identify it.

Set-up

  • Triads with roles Speaker / Responder / Observer; rotate if time allows.
  • The Speaker can use their Lesson 7 ‘Bring to Next Class’ example, a facilitator scenario, or a fictional situation.

Facilitator language

“Ask the question you actually need—then listen to the answer.”

Instructions

  • 1.The Speaker shares the situation in a sentence or two.
  • 2.The Responder practices: Hear (reflect the experience), Separate (keep known and uncertain distinct), Explore (ask one genuinely open question), Move (offer or identify a next step).
  • 3.The Observer uses the checklist.

💬 Paste into chat / broadcast to rooms

Observer checklist: • Did the Responder accurately reflect the experience? • Did they accidentally turn an interpretation into fact? • Did they defend or explain too soon? • Was the question genuinely open? • Did the response end somewhere useful?

Debrief questions

  • Which part of the response was hardest to do in the moment?

👂 Listen for

  • Reflection before explanation
  • Genuinely open questions

👀 Watch for

  • Questions that contain the expected answer
  • Learners revisiting personal experiences—offer the fictional option

📓 Digital Binder connection

  • Lesson 7 → Bring to Next Class: Your Lived Truth and Inquiry Example
43–53 min

Validate or Over-Confirm?

PollMain room

Purpose

Practice precise validation.

Set-up

  • Show the participant statement, then each response one at a time.

Facilitator language

“Validation is not agreement.”

Instructions

  • 1.Read the participant statement.
  • 2.Show each response and ask learners to name what it does.
  • 3.Discuss.

📋 Facilitator reference — answers, don’t paste to learners

Facilitator reference: Participant: “My suggestion wasn’t mentioned in the final discussion. I guess they didn’t think it was worth considering.” A. “Your suggestion wasn’t discussed, and it sounds like that left you wondering whether it was taken seriously.” → Validation without over-confirming B. “You’re right. They obviously didn’t value your idea.” → Over-confirming: motive or judgment has not been established C. “I’m sure that’s not what they meant.” → Premature reassurance that dismisses the concern without understanding it D. “I don’t yet know why it wasn’t included. Let’s look at what happened in the decision process.” → Marks uncertainty and moves toward inquiry

Debrief questions

  • Why can uncertainty feel uncomfortable for a leader?

👂 Listen for

  • Comfort with “I don’t yet know”

👀 Watch for

  • Reassurance offered as validation

📓 Digital Binder connection

  • Lesson 7 → Lesson Review: Validate What You Know. Stay Honest About What You Don’t.
56–72 min

Capstone Scenario: The Community Expo

Breakout

Purpose

Bring multiple course concepts together without telling learners which tools to use.

Set-up

  • Groups of 3–4.
  • Paste the scenario and instructions into chat.
  • Have the toolkit summary available.

Facilitator language

“Your job: What deserves attention, which tools will help, and what should happen before the Expo?”

“Using every tool is not the goal. Choosing the right tool is.”

Instructions

  • 1.Protect the Purpose: What is the Expo trying to accomplish? What should participants demonstrate or contribute?
  • 2.Notice: What parts of the scenario deserve a closer look? Do not label them yet.
  • 3.Choose Your Tools: Select no more than three toolkit resources to use first.
  • 4.Explain Why: What in the scenario made you choose each tool?
  • 5.Separate Action From Inquiry: What can be corrected now? What requires more information?
  • 6.Decide: What would you change before the Expo? What should remain consistent? How would you know the changes helped?

💬 Paste into chat / broadcast to rooms

Scenario: A community youth program is preparing an end-of-season Expo. Participants were originally told they could present their projects in a format that made sense for the project. Two days before the event, a new coordinator announces that every project must include a five-minute live presentation and panel questions “to keep judging consistent.” During preparation: • Several participants immediately begin rehearsing aloud. • One participant asks whether a pre-recorded demonstration can still be used. The coordinator says, “Everyone has to do the same presentation if we want judging to be fair.” • A participant who usually contributes strong written ideas is described by a volunteer as “not very leadership-oriented because they never take charge in group discussions.” • Another participant asks whether they need to answer a panel question about how their personal background inspired the project. A volunteer says, “The judges really connect with authentic personal stories.” • During rehearsal, a participant says the coordinator’s feedback made them feel singled out. The coordinator replies, “I gave everybody the same kind of feedback. I think you’re taking it more personally than I intended.” • Several teams say they are now unclear about what will actually be assessed. Toolkit: Emotional Safety Check · Safety and Support Response Map · Bias and Unlearning Check · Cultural Responsiveness Check · Equity and Access Decision Guide · Lived Truth and Inquiry Framework

👂 Listen for

  • Purpose named first
  • Tools chosen for a reason in the scenario

👀 Watch for

  • Rewarding groups for using the most tools
  • Labelling issues before noticing them

📓 Digital Binder connection

72–82 min

Debrief: Choose Your Tools

Main room

Purpose

Help learners see that care-centered practice is about judgment, not checklist completion.

Set-up

  • Invite one group to share first, then ask others to compare.

Facilitator language

“Complex situations can involve several care-centered concerns at once. Good leadership means recognizing which question needs attention first.”

Instructions

  • 1.Take one issue at a time.
  • 2.Compare tool choices across groups.
  • 3.Separate what can change now from what needs inquiry.

Debrief questions

  • Which tool did you choose first, and why?
  • Did another group choose a different tool for the same issue?
  • Could both starting points be defensible?
  • Where would one tool stop being enough?
  • What could you change immediately from the information given?
  • What would require inquiry before acting?

👂 Listen for

  • More than one defensible approach
  • Inquiry before acting on the “singled out” comment

👀 Watch for

  • Pressure toward one right answer

📓 Digital Binder connection

  • Lesson 8 → Build Your Toolkit: Care-Centered Practice Review Lens
82–87 min

Digital Binder: Strengthen the Plan

Individual

Purpose

Capture the learner’s plan in the Review Lens.

Set-up

  • Share the Lesson 8 binder link in chat.

Facilitator language

“You don’t need to show this to anyone.”

Instructions

  • 1.Open the Care-Centered Practice Review Lens.
  • 2.Choose the Expo, an eLearning capstone scenario, or a de-identified practice from your setting.
  • 3.Complete or revise each part.

💬 Paste into chat / broadcast to rooms

leadingwithcare.vercel.app/sections/care-centered-lens/binder#l8-review-lens Practice: What am I reviewing? · Purpose: What needs to remain true? · What I Noticed · Tools I Need · What I Still Need to Understand · What I Will Change · What Will Stay · Impact Check

👀 Watch for

  • Learners whose binder isn’t saving—point them to Back Up & Restore or a note-taking alternative

📓 Digital Binder connection

  • Lesson 8 → Build Your Toolkit: Care-Centered Practice Review Lens

Close

Reflection

  • In your Digital Binder (Lesson 7 → Your Notes): What is one phrase you want ready the next time someone’s account differs from yours?

What to carry forward

  • Use one reflective statement and one genuinely open question in your next difficult conversation.
  • Use the Review Lens on one practice you lead.

Next module / pre-work

  • Be prepared to complete the 10-question marked Final Knowledge Check.
  • Revisit your original learning goal and Pause & Check: Your Starting Point (Lesson 1).
  • Review your 30-Day Practice Commitment (Lesson 8).
  • Come ready to share ‘What Are You Taking With You?’ (Lesson 8 ‘Bring to Next Class’), in any way that works for you.
  • Use the same browser and device as throughout the course, and download a binder backup before the final session: leadingwithcare.vercel.app/backup

If learners remember only two ideas

Validate what you know. Stay honest about what you do not. You do not need every tool every time—choose the tool that helps you ask the question the situation needs.

Facilitator Reflection After the Session

  • Inquiry: Did I allow uncertainty, or rush the group toward answers?
  • Listening: Did I demonstrate reflection before explanation or correction?
  • Validation: Did I acknowledge experiences without confirming interpretations I could not establish?
  • Questions: Were my questions genuinely open, or did they contain the answer I expected?
  • Tool Selection: Did I encourage learners to choose useful tools rather than complete every tool?
  • Complexity: Did I allow more than one defensible approach where appropriate?
  • Disclosure: Did learners have genuine choice about what they shared?
  • Participation: Did written, spoken, and other participation routes carry meaningful weight?
  • Adjustment: What is one thing I will change before the final session?

Learner binder: leadingwithcare.vercel.app

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