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Leading with Care

Leading with Care Facilitator Guide

Six live virtual sessions that extend the Leading with Care course through discussion, scenario practice, reflection, and application.

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Live Session 1 · 90 minutes · Virtual

Draft · open items highlighted

Orientation + Mindset, Assumptions, and Creating Emotional Safety

Getting started with the course, then slowing down the space between what we observe and how we respond

Session Overview

Module(s) covered

  • Course orientation: TalentLMS, the eLearning course, the Digital Binder, and live sessions
  • Introduction: Why Leading with Care Matters (Lesson 1)
  • Mindset, Assumptions, and Creating Emotional Safety (Lesson 2)

Toolkit resources used

  • Pause & Check: Your Starting Point (leadership context and learning goal)
  • Emotional Safety Check
  • Pause & Check: When My First Story Feels True

Session purpose

Orient learners to the course experience, TalentLMS, and the Digital Binder, then move quickly into application of the first core skill: slowing down the space between what we observe and how we respond.

Digital Binder technology note

Responses are saved locally in each learner’s browser. Learners should use the same device and browser throughout the course, avoid shared computers and incognito/private browsing, and download a backup from the binder’s Back Up & Restore page regularly (a backup file can be restored on another device; a PDF export is for reading and printing). Facilitators cannot see binder responses unless a learner chooses to share them.

Learning objectives

By the end of this session, participants will be able to:

  • 1.Navigate TalentLMS, the eLearning course, and the Digital Binder.
  • 2.Explain how self-directed learning and live practice work together.
  • 3.Describe what Digital Binder information is private and how it is stored and backed up.
  • 4.Distinguish an observation from an assumption or interpretation.
  • 5.Use Notice → Name → Check → Choose to slow an automatic response.
  • 6.Identify how Predictability, Clarity, Warmth, Boundaries, and Repair support emotional safety.
  • 7.Practice curiosity while keeping expectations and accountability clear.

Key course concepts

Mindset is an active filter

Beliefs and expectations shape what a leader notices, how they interpret it, and how they respond.

Observation vs. assumption

An observation is what you can see, hear, count, quote, or verify. An assumption adds motive, attitude, ability, or character.

“I do not know yet”

Generating other possibilities is not replacing one assumption with a kinder one. Motive stays open while accountability remains.

Five conditions of emotional safety

Predictability, Clarity, Warmth, Boundaries, and Repair. The check focuses attention; it is not a diagnostic test with one right answer.

Pause & Check

Notice → Name → Check → Choose: a first interpretation may be possible without yet being proven.

Curiosity with accountability

Observation, inquiry, expectation and impact, next step. When harm is occurring, set the boundary first.

Before the Session

Learner pre-work

  • Introduction: Why Leading with Care Matters (Lesson 1), including Pause & Check: Your Starting Point in the Digital Binder.
  • Mindset, Assumptions, and Creating Emotional Safety (Lesson 2), including the Emotional Safety Check and Pause & Check: When My First Story Feels True.

What learners were asked to bring

  • The leadership context and learning goal from Pause & Check: Your Starting Point.
  • One de-identified situation where they used—or could have used—Pause & Check: the behavior observed, the assumption noticed, one other possibility, and the response drafted (Lesson 2 ‘Bring to Next Class’).

Facilitator preparation

  • Confirm the TalentLMS course link and the Digital Binder link work; remind learners that their TalentLMS login should already have been provided.
  • Prepare Zoom breakout rooms for groups of 3–4 (Activities 1 and 2) and pairs (Activity 3).
  • Prepare the Observation or Story? scenario (Riley).
  • Prepare the Emotional Safety Check scenario (skipped pair work).
  • Plan at least one non-verbal contribution route: chat, shared board, annotation, or private reflection.
  • Model the course: preview the agenda, explain what is optional and what is expected, provide thinking time, and repair anything that does not go as planned.

Materials / technology

Breakout room setup (virtual)

  • Activity 1 (Observation or Story?): groups of 3–4, 10 minutes.
  • Activity 2 (Emotional Safety Check): groups of 3–4, 8 minutes.
  • Activity 3 (Pause & Check Practice): pairs, 9 minutes after 2 minutes of private thinking.
  • Paste instructions into chat before opening rooms and broadcast a 2-minute warning.

90-Minute Run of Show

TimeActivityPurposeMethodFacilitator notes
0–88 minWelcome + OpeningEstablish tone, purpose, and predictability.Agenda preview; what is optional vs. expected; participation routes (voice, chat, reactions).Model the course from the first minute: preview, clarify, and offer more than one way to contribute.
8–2012 minHow the Course Works ↓Orient learners to TalentLMS, the eLearning, live sessions, and expectations.Screen-share walkthrough with a quick “find it” check in chat.Show the session rhythm: complete the lesson(s) and binder activities before each session; bring the ‘Bring to Next Class’ item.
20–288 minDigital Binder Orientation ↓Explain privacy, browser/device storage, backup, and sharing.Screen-share tour of the binder, including Back Up & Restore.Learners decide what they record and what they share. Facilitators cannot see binder responses.
28–3810 minOpening the Course Work: Mindset Is an Active Filter ↓Begin the course work by connecting each learner’s Starting Point to how mindset shapes what leaders notice and assume.Brief framing, then chat waterfall from the Starting Point reflection; short whole-group discussion.Use “Silence does not always mean disengagement…” as the bridge into Activity 1.
38–5315 minActivity 1: Observation or Story? ↓Practice separating evidence from interpretation.Small groups (3–4) work the Riley scenario; whole-group debrief.10 minutes in rooms, 5 minutes debrief.
53–574 minBreakModel pacing and predictability.Short break with a visible timer.Say when you’ll restart and what comes next.
57–7013 minActivity 2: Emotional Safety Check ↓Apply Predictability, Clarity, Warmth, Boundaries, and Repair.Small groups (3–4) choose the condition that needs attention most; groups defend their choices.8 minutes in rooms, 5 minutes debrief. More than one answer may be reasonable.
70–8515 minActivity 3: Pause & Check Practice ↓Practice curiosity while maintaining expectations.2 minutes of private thinking, then pairs work through Notice → Name → Check → Choose using the situation they brought (workshop scenario as backup); short debrief.2 minutes thinking, 9 minutes pairs, 4 minutes debrief.
85–905 minReflection + Next StepsConsolidate learning and preview Session 2.Private reflection in the binder; preview pre-work.Remind learners to download a binder backup.

Facilitation Guide

A guide for each major activity. Suggested language is a starting point—adapt it to your voice and your group.

8–20 min

How the Course Works

Screen shareChat

Purpose

Remove logistical uncertainty so learners can focus on learning, and show how self-directed learning and live practice work together.

Set-up

  • Open TalentLMS, the course page, and the Digital Binder home page in separate tabs.
  • Have both links ready to paste in chat.

Facilitator language

“Each part of this course does a different job. The eLearning introduces the ideas, your Digital Binder is where you apply them to your own context, and our live sessions are where we practice together.”

“You should already have your own TalentLMS login. If anything isn’t working, let me know privately in chat and we’ll sort it out after the session.”

Instructions

  • 1.Show the TalentLMS course: the lessons, where each one sits, and the knowledge checks.
  • 2.Show the session rhythm: which lesson(s) come before each live session and what to bring.
  • 3.Ask learners to confirm in chat that they can open the course.

💬 Paste into chat / broadcast to rooms

TalentLMS course: [TBD: TalentLMS course link] Log in with the account you were sent. Type “in” once you can see the course—or message me privately if you can’t.

Debrief questions

  • What questions do you have about how the course works?
  • What might make it hard to complete the eLearning before each session?

👂 Listen for

  • Login or access problems
  • Uncertainty about what is expected before each session

👀 Watch for

  • Learners who can’t access TalentLMS—follow up privately rather than troubleshooting in front of the group

📓 Digital Binder connection

  • Binder home page: Course Lessons and Three Ways You Will Use Your Binder
20–28 min

Digital Binder Orientation

Screen shareChat

Purpose

Make sure every learner can use the binder confidently and understands that it is private, saved in their own browser, and backed up by them.

Set-up

  • Open the binder at Lesson 1 → Binder Activities, My Toolkit, Live Practice Prep, and Back Up & Restore.

Facilitator language

“Your binder saves privately in your own browser, on this device. I can’t see it, and neither can anyone else. You decide what you record and what you bring to share.”

“Because it lives in your browser, use the same device and browser each time, avoid shared computers and private windows, and download a backup after each lesson.”

Instructions

  • 1.Show a lesson’s Binder Activities page and the three prompt types: Pause & Check, Build Your Toolkit, and Bring to Live Practice.
  • 2.Show My Toolkit, the Pause & Check Journal, and Live Practice Prep.
  • 3.Show Back Up & Restore: download a backup, and how to restore it on another device.
  • 4.Point out the privacy guidance for bringing examples: remove names and identifying details, focus on the situation, and share only what you are comfortable and authorized to discuss.
  • 5.Ask learners to download a backup now if they have already completed Lessons 1 and 2.

💬 Paste into chat / broadcast to rooms

Digital Binder: leadingwithcare.vercel.app Open Back Up & Restore → Download my binder backup. Keep the file somewhere only you can access.

Debrief questions

  • What questions do you have about privacy or saving your work?

👂 Listen for

  • Learners on work-managed or shared computers
  • Anyone who sees the red “browser isn’t saving” warning

👀 Watch for

  • Learners who completed pre-work on a different device than they are using now—show them Restore

📓 Digital Binder connection

  • Back Up & Restore page
  • Home page: Your Reflections, Your Choice
28–38 min

Opening the Course Work: Mindset Is an Active Filter

Main roomChat

Purpose

Move from orientation into the first module by surfacing what each learner tends to notice—and the meaning they tend to attach to it.

Set-up

  • Ask learners to open Pause & Check: Your Starting Point in their binder.
  • Have the three-line quote ready on a slide.

Facilitator language

“A leader’s response begins before they speak. What we notice, the meaning we attach to it, and the expectations we bring can turn the same behavior into an invitation to inquire or a reason to correct.”

“Silence does not always mean disengagement. Resistance does not always mean defiance. Confidence does not always mean understanding.”

Instructions

  • 1.Give learners one minute to reread their Starting Point Notice and Name responses.
  • 2.Chat waterfall: “When participation gets difficult, what tends to get my attention first is ___.” Learners type but don’t press Enter until you say go.
  • 3.Read several responses aloud and name patterns (silence, lateness, disagreement, hesitation).
  • 4.Ask: “What meaning do we tend to attach to those behaviors?” Take 2–3 voices.
  • 5.Bridge: “Today we practice one move—separating what we can observe from the story we add.”

💬 Paste into chat / broadcast to rooms

Waterfall — type, but wait to press Enter: When participation gets difficult, what tends to get my attention first is ___.

Debrief questions

  • What patterns do you notice across the group?
  • Where might a first interpretation become a decision too quickly in your setting?

👂 Listen for

  • Behaviors described with motive already attached
  • Recognition that the same behavior can mean different things

👀 Watch for

  • Learners sharing identifying details about real people—redirect to the behavior

📓 Digital Binder connection

  • Lesson 1 → Pause & Check: Your Starting Point (Notice and Name)
38–53 min

Activity 1: Observation or Story?

BreakoutMain room

Purpose

Practice separating what can be observed from the story a leader adds—and keeping accountability while motive stays open.

Set-up

  • Groups of 3–4.
  • Paste the scenario and questions into chat before opening rooms.

Facilitator language

“Our goal isn’t to swap a harsh story for a kind one. It’s to notice where we start adding meaning—and to get comfortable saying, “I do not know yet.””

Instructions

  • 1.Read the scenario together.
  • 2.Identify what can actually be observed.
  • 3.Find where the facilitator begins adding a story.
  • 4.List what else could be true.
  • 5.Decide what the facilitator could do next without treating any possibility as fact.

💬 Paste into chat / broadcast to rooms

Scenario: During a collaborative activity, Riley arrives about ten minutes after the group has started. They sit near the back, do not speak during the first discussion, and when asked whether they have anything to add, say, “Not right now.” A facilitator writes: “Riley seems disengaged and doesn’t want to participate.” 1. What can you actually observe? 2. Where does the facilitator begin adding a story? 3. What else could be true? 4. What could the facilitator do next without treating any possibility as fact?

Debrief questions

  • Where did the story begin?
  • What else could be true—and how do we avoid turning one of those into a new assumption?
  • Can accountability for lateness or participation remain while motive stays open? What would that sound like?

👂 Listen for

  • Observable facts: arrived ten minutes late, sat near the back, did not speak, said “Not right now.”
  • “Seems disengaged” and “doesn’t want to participate” named as the added story
  • “I do not know yet”

👀 Watch for

  • Replacing one assumption with a kinder one (“Riley must be shy”)
  • Dropping the expectation altogether to avoid the assumption

📓 Digital Binder connection

  • Lesson 2 → Lesson Review: Separate What Happened from the Story
  • Lesson 2 → Pause & Check: When My First Story Feels True
57–70 min

Activity 2: Emotional Safety Check

BreakoutMain room

Purpose

Use the five conditions to focus attention on what a leader could change in the moment.

Set-up

  • Groups of 3–4.
  • Ask learners to have their Emotional Safety Check open in the binder.
  • Paste the scenario and instructions into chat.

Facilitator language

“The Emotional Safety Check focuses your attention. It isn’t a diagnostic test with one perfect answer—be ready to explain your choice.”

Instructions

  • 1.Return to the Emotional Safety Check: Predictability — Clarity — Warmth — Boundaries — Repair.
  • 2.Choose the condition that needs attention most immediately.
  • 3.Identify one small change the facilitator could make.
  • 4.Be prepared to explain why that condition matters in this moment.

💬 Paste into chat / broadcast to rooms

Scenario: A facilitator planned pair work followed by whole-group discussion. Running behind, they announce that pair work will be skipped and participants will be called on individually. The first participant hesitates. The facilitator says, “Come on—we’ve already covered this. Just tell us what you think.” Predictability — Clarity — Warmth — Boundaries — Repair 1. Which condition needs attention most immediately? 2. One small change the facilitator could make 3. Why that condition matters in this moment

Debrief questions

  • Which condition did your group choose, and why?
  • Did another group choose differently? What made their choice reasonable too?
  • What would repair sound like if the facilitator realized the impact?

👂 Listen for

  • Predictability (an unannounced change)
  • Warmth (“Come on…”)
  • Repair as a real option, not an admission of failure

👀 Watch for

  • Groups looking for the one ‘right’ answer
  • Solutions that remove the participation expectation entirely

📓 Digital Binder connection

  • Lesson 2 → Build Your Toolkit: Emotional Safety Check
70–85 min

Activity 3: Pause & Check Practice

IndividualPairsBreakoutMain room

Purpose

Practice the course’s core habit on a real, de-identified situation—choosing a response that protects dignity while keeping the purpose, expectation, or boundary clear.

Set-up

  • Ask learners to open Lesson 2 → Bring to Next Class (the situation they prepared).
  • Learners who didn’t bring one use the workshop scenario from Activity 2 and focus on the hesitant participant.
  • Pairs; paste the four steps into chat.

Facilitator language

“Take two minutes on your own first. Then, in pairs, each of you walks through your situation while your partner asks the four questions.”

“Share only what you’re comfortable sharing, with names and identifying details removed.”

Instructions

  • 1.Private thinking (2 minutes): reread the situation you brought.
  • 2.In pairs, Partner A shares; Partner B asks the four Pause & Check questions (4 minutes). Then switch.
  • 3.Each partner refines their drafted response so it protects dignity and keeps the expectation clear.

💬 Paste into chat / broadcast to rooms

Pause & Check (pairs) NOTICE: What happened? What reaction did you notice in yourself? NAME: What story did you begin telling yourself? CHECK: What else could be true? What information is missing? CHOOSE: What could you say that protects dignity and keeps the purpose or expectation clear? Backup scenario: the hesitant participant in Activity 2.

Debrief questions

  • Which step was hardest—Notice, Name, Check, or Choose?
  • How did your response keep both dignity and the expectation visible?
  • What changed in your drafted response after your partner’s questions?

👂 Listen for

  • Responses that describe the behavior without assigning motive
  • The four elements of a care-centered accountability conversation: observation, inquiry, expectation and impact, next step

👀 Watch for

  • Check turning into a new assumption
  • Identifying details about real people
  • Learners revisiting difficult experiences—offer the backup scenario

📓 Digital Binder connection

  • Lesson 2 → Bring to Next Class: A Pause & Check Situation
  • Lesson 2 → Pause & Check: When My First Story Feels True (personal pause cue)

Close

Reflection

  • In your Digital Binder (Lesson 2 → Your Notes): One thing I want to pay more attention to after today is ___.

What to carry forward

  • Use Pause & Check once this week before responding to a behavior that catches your attention.
  • Strengthen one emotional-safety condition in a group or meeting you lead.

Next module / pre-work

  • Complete Understanding Trauma-Informed Practice (Lesson 3).
  • Bring your Safety and Support Response Map.
  • Bring one short phrase you drafted for use during a difficult moment.
  • Bring one de-identified scenario and the short response you drafted (Lesson 3 ‘Bring to Next Class’). Do not include identifying, confidential, or private information.
  • Download a binder backup: leadingwithcare.vercel.app/backup

Facilitator Reflection After the Session

  • Participation: Who participated easily? Who had fewer opportunities to enter?
  • Structure: Did the timing, breakout format, or technology create barriers?
  • Assumptions: Did I make any quick interpretations about participation?
  • Emotional Safety: Where did Predictability, Clarity, Warmth, Boundaries, or Repair work well—or need attention?
  • Adjustment: What is one thing I will change in the next session?

Learner binder: leadingwithcare.vercel.app

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